children running through

i used to be shy,

you made me sing.

i used to refuse things at the table,

now i shout for more wine.

in somber dignity, i used to sit

on my mat and pray,

now children run through

and make faces at me.

-Rumi

I've recently been revisiting a book of Rumi poems that i have. Rumi is frickin' great. solid sufi dude from the 13th century. anyways this is one of my favourite poems by him, which is funny because i have no idea what the frig he's talking about. it just kind of sticks out to me.

well i guess theres two versions of some character. their past self seems pretty humble and introverted and their present self seems more lively and playful. i'm not sure where i'd like to be. i'm definitely a shy guy, and often pretty cautious at the table if we're talking in a literal sense (except now i completely don't eat or drink just about anything.. but thats another story). humbleness is one of my favourite qualities of anyone. but the extrovert seems to have a more general feeling of freedom and joy. i value my time alone in humility but i think sometimes i need to sing and shout and see more children smiling and playing. i need to experience more compassion and love instead of just dreaming about it and writing about it. my heart cries out for purpose and i think i can find it in others. im an introvert naturally and respect others that are, but damn, i wish i could figure out how to talk to people. i don't have to be eccentric but i'd like to find a better balance of interaction and meaningful connections with people.

someone.. explain this poem to me!

and teach me to love