2/20/10

ups and downs

i like to do things for others when i can. i shovel both my neighbour's driveways and i don't tell them. i try to share knowledge with others. i make errands for people if i have the time. i clean up after my roommates (oh god.). but recently i haven't given a crap about anything or anyone but me. its selfish i know, but i haven't had any "me" time in a long long time and i think its definitely kosher for me to ignore everyone for a little bit so i can indulge in my own desires and thoughts.. at least until i catch up on things. i've been super unresponsive and antisocial lately. i'll refrain from going on about "the things i have to deal with" or whatever because no one ever wants to hear about that. the long story short is i'm NOT doing well but i think i'll be okay so leave me be, okay?

so lets hear something positive!
the weather has been great. its even been dry enough to take a bike ride! personally i don't know many better states of joy than when i am biking by myself in good weather listening to music. i recently picked up the new Silver Mt Zion album (and its frickin amazing). ive started doing yoga again, and i started exercising and drinking water regularly. today i finally got the house cleaned up from the party we had here last friday (in which i had a very enjoyable time). i finished mixing for my friend's black metal band. i have food in my stomach and i swear i had a regular sleep last night.. i have been productive in every way OTHER THAN reading and schoolwork and im okay with that for now.

in fact, as much as i love school, i don't want any part of it right now. itd be nice to have a break. ive been thinking a lot about how i miss the summer. i had a great summer. moving, new friends, warm weather, bikes, tallbikes, music, home tattoos, an empty house, dumpsterdiving, victoria park, shows, random bands and strangers sleeping at my house, not showering for 28 days, hitchhiking, protesting, making forts, short-term love, walking, maple beans with molasses, church, rooftops, starting fresh, friends, friends, friends, i miss it so much. it was also the best my health had ever been which is strange because i had really bad habits.

i apologize this blog post is close to meaningless. all i really want to say is i'm down and especially introverted and i want to be free again.

1 comment: